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    How To Look Like A Tool On Instagram

    September 28, 2018 3 min read

    How To Look Like A Tool On Instagram

    Words by Turbo from Noob Spearo: the spearfishing podcast sponsored by Adreno

    I’ve been loving Instagram lately. I’ve learnt a tonne of stuff about spearfishing around the world and it’s led us to interviewing some great spearos. But like everything you get the good with the bad and there are some classic recurring themes that I find either crack me up or get me wild. Either way they’re a bad look for various reasons. 

    I thought I’d share some of these common themes and characters that I see popping in my feed from time to time. 

    1. Hot chick, spear gun, dry hair

    This one is an all time classic and my most favourite. Let me set the scene. The sun is setting, the gun by her side, a stringer full of fish in her hand as she looks inspiringly off into the distance with her foggy mask on her forehead. The connection she feels with the  ocean runs deep through her soul. She is at one with the ecosystem, sustainably harvesting her food from nature. Wow what a woman! Then it hits you. Her hair's dry, she’s wearing makeup and the guns missing rubbers! Something smells fishy here and it’s not the catch. Next time girlfriend.

    #yeahthegirls

    2. The fish bath

    One of the pics that really gets my goat is laying in bulk fish pulling shakas. At first I thought it was funny but then it started to pop up in my feed a lot and it kind of erked me a bit. I thought if I was looking at this from an outsiders perspective of the sport how would it be perceived? It really doesn’t paint a picture of sustainability and responsibility that many spearos believe in. 

    #safesustainablesortof

     

    Spearfishing Shaka

     

    3. Tough guys don’t smile

    I love this bloke. Does he even enjoy spearfishing? I can’t tell because he looks pissed off everytime time he’s holding his fish up. In the shot he’s usually front and centre with his chest puffed out, a stringer full of fish and a look that could kill. Despite having a great day in the water he dares not smile as he is, “man the spearo”. Then he goes next level and lies on his side with his catch like he wants to kill you and mount you in his pile of fish at the same time. And just when you think this man of mystery, this dominator at life can’t get any manlier he grabs bae by the waist and gets her in the shot too just to let you know he’s crushing it.

    #thuglife

     

    Tough Guys

     

    4. The fish yard glass.

    This ones a big hit for summer. The boys on the boat pouring beers down the gut cavity of a fish and drinking it. It generally goes everywhere but in their mouth. A listener of the show flagged it with me and thought it was disrespectful to the catch. I kind of agree and it made me think how would this be perceived by an outsider to the sport. Not to mention it’s a waste of beer and every respectable Australian knows beers are best served in a glass or a shoe.

    #yeahtheboys

    5. Larry Long arms

    We all know this bloke and he knows all about perspective. The arms are stretched out long, the elbows are in tight against each other and the fingers in behind the gill plate. He’s a magician at making the barely legal look, well legal. You’re not fooling anyone Shrek, put that little mowie back on your chest.

    #fakeittillyoumakeit

    big Fish

    So there’s my top 5 insta tools. They’re entertaining to say the least and I get a kick out of seeing them pop up in my feed. If I’ve missed something please leave it in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts.